2002-11-18 - 11:03 a.m. - Cycle day: 36

Feeling a bit better today. Thanks millions to everyone who sent emails or notes or signed the guestbook; I really needed your virtual arms around me.

Right now I'm mostly just confused. Still no period or any hint of it, other than my fragile emotional state. My temps have been unusually high for two days running, and I'm wondering if it's possible that I ovulated even later than suspected and this is actually a triphasic rise. That would contradict all my other fertility signs, though, so I'm not sure what to believe. Especially considering that I was using an unreliable thermometer up until day 25 or so.

If I ovulated on day 23, as TCOYF now wants to believe, that greatly reduces my conception chance. TCOYF still lists it as "good," but that's not the same as "very good" and nowhere near "best." I'm trying not to dwell on the fact that I wanted to have sex that day, as well as the day before, and The Husband didn't cooperate. Granted, I didn't push the issue, either, because I'd pretty much given up by then. If we do this again next month, though, we're going to have to work more on listening to my body.

I just want to know what's going on. Am I 13 days past ovulation, or 15, or 17? Is there any chance that I may be pregnant? I'm just so tired and waiting and hoping and still not knowing anything.

I ordered some more bulk HPTs last week, so I should be getting those sometime soon. I'm trying to hold out until then before testing again (assuming Aunt Flo doesn't show up first); I can't stand the idea of wasting more money on drugstore HPTs. I haven't failed this many tests since 12th grade Physics.

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