2003-08-26 - 10:54 a.m. - Cycle day: 39 weeks, 2 days

I have a few friends and family members who have run marathons. Personally, I don't see the draw. It seems like a ton of hard work for an intangible reward that, from my seat here on the couch, doesn't seem worth the effort. But hey, some people see it differently, and I respect that. When they tell me they're in training, I express my awe and admiration. I speak positively about their endeavor. I support their decision to push their bodies to their greatest limits.

So why is it that when I tell someone I'm planning a natural childbirth, no one says "Hey, awesome! I'm sure that will go great for you!" Instead, every single person, after asking me if I'm going to "try" to go natural, feels the need to tell me about someone who planned to have a drug-free birth and was begging for an epidural fifteen minutes into labor. What makes people do that? I can at least partly understand when it's a woman relaying her own experience, because maybe there's an element of disappointment about "failing" to go natural. Although you'd think the fact that 80% of women have epidurals would be all the reassurance they need. I have a tougher time figuring out why people who don't have children feel like they need to tell me about their mama friend's love affair with the anesthesiologist. I don't really need to be hearing that, people. It would be nice if, just once, someone said "That's great. What a good decision for you and the baby. You'll be awesome." Instead, all I get is doubt bordering on condescension.

People seem to forget that I've spent my whole life saying no thanks to drugs. I don't drink or smoke. Never have. I don't even drink coffee, and my caffeinated soda intake is pretty minimal. Other than a Tylenol-3 I had after my wisdom teeth came out, I've never been in a chemically altered state. I've done a lot of things without drugs that most people wouldn't consider possible. Like graduating from a Big Ten university. And yet people automatically assume that I'm going to be running toward the narcotics cart at the first sign of pain.

It all gives me one more reason to be glad I have a doula. I know that there will be at least one person in the hospital who has full confidence in my ability to birth naturally, and she will be by my side the entire time. And I also know that, if I change my mind, she'll support that decision and won't treat me like I was being naive to even try laboring on my own.

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