2004-07-19 - 11:18 p.m. - Cycle day:

Wow, I can't believe it's been almost a month since I updated. This summer is screeching by. It's amazing how quickly the time passes when there's always a deadline coming up. I sort of feel like I'm back in school again. As soon as I finish one thing, there are always two more that need to get done. I don't know what I'm going to do once The Husband is back at school in the fall. As it is, I'm barely hanging on to a schedule. I read an article yesterday about adults with attention deficit disorder, and I think I have whatever the opposite of ADD is - I have an attention surplus. I'm constantly grabbing new projects. Although now, it's not so much out of desire as desperation. I feel like if I have at least 4 or 5 jobs going on, we can't possibly slip into poverty. It's probably a flawed theory, but it helps me sleep.

Unlike, let's say, my somewhat vampiric daughter, who is now nursing every three hours, twenty-four hours a day. We've been trying and trying to get her more interested in solid food, but she just isn't having it. Not enough, anyway. Or maybe the feeding frenzy is because she's about to start walking - she's just started standing totally on her own and being able to hold it for longer and longer periods of time. Any day now, she's just going to put it together and bolt. But in the meantime, she's clinging to me like a hummingbird to a nectar feeder. And it hurts. I never had much trouble with nursing pain after those first few weeks, but now I'm cracked and bruised and constantly fighting the urge to push her headstanding little body away from me. She's eating more often and for longer periods than she has since she was a newborn, and it's draining me in more ways than one. I don't know what I'd do if we weren't co-sleeping. If I had to get up multiple times a night, I'd be obliterated. As it is, I'm just sulky and a teeny bit irritated with all those babies who open their mouths up like little birds when a spoonful of mushy food comes their way. All my kid wants to do is play with the spoon and paint her face with puree.

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