2003-06-30 - 1:54 p.m. - Cycle day: 31 weeks, 1 day

Things are starting to get hopping in SuspenseBabyLand. We had lunch with the Doula last week, which ended up being two hours of hanging out with her and her 8-month-old (quite possibly the world's most beautiful human) and talking about everything from homeopathy to homeschooling. It was a really nice time for us all to get to know each other better. It was also good to have someone who I know respects the information I've been collecting look me in the face and say to step back a little. I've been a total sponge and have been borderline obsessive about getting in all the reading I possibly can, and the Doula made the point that I'm eventually just going to have to trust that I know what I need to know and then let the knowledge flow through me. If my mom or sister or anyone else who thinks I'm being paranoid and rabble-rousing had told me that, I probably wouldn't have listened, but it meant something different coming from the Doula, especially since I know she's going to be there at my side when that information is most needed. I'm very glad we had the chance to spend some relaxed time together, and the Husband appreciated it as well. Whereas I'm just happy that there will be one more familiar face in my hospital room, he's more interested in making sure that he and the Doula are compatible and will be able to work effectively together.

So after a hearty dose of Doula bonding, we spent the next afternoon at our first childbirth education class. The class is offered at the same attachment parenting-friendly store where I take my pre-natal yoga course. The instructor teaches from the midwifery model, but doesn't focus on homebirth. This seems like a perfect fit for us, as well as the three other couples who are all planning hospital births but don't want to be pulled into the Great Hospital Birth Machine. We had some extra time during class, so there was ample time for us all to talk a little bit about our concerns and strategies. I felt like a bit of a show-off because I proudly talked about firing my first OB and refusing screenings like the glucose tolerance test, but oh well. Maybe that will give someone else the confidence to make changes in their own care. Although I get the feeling that this is a group that doesn't require a ton of confidence boosting. There's a special kind of bravery involved with making natural birth a goal in the face of the medical establishment/social norms/family pressure/etc. We all know we've got some big challenges to overcome, and we're already bonding over what we've been through to get this far.

Speaking of which, I'm starting to have a second stage of panic about everything we still need to do. At the top of the list are touring hospitals, pre-registering, and getting insurance authorization for in-patient services. Then there's assembling a birth kit and hospital bag. Every discussion with the Doula reminds us of something else we need to buy/pack, and I've started keeping paper by the bed so I can write down the things I think of in the middle of the night. Then there's the next tier of details, like figuring out how to use the camera feature of my cell phone and determining our pet care plan. And sometime in the next two months, we need to get the house re-roofed, the mortgage refinanced, our long-distance phone service switched to something more reasonable, and my license plates renewed. No wonder I immerse myself in pregnancy and birth books! It's easier to read than to think about everything else.

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