2004-03-28 - 5:02 p.m. - Cycle day:

I should convert this to a blog, because I'm barely able to think in multiple paragraphs anymore, let alone find time to write them down. Here are the random thoughts floating through my head these days ...

M. and I were almost hit by another car the other day. There was a man in some state of impairment riding a bicycle down the middle of a busy city road, and the person in front of me didn't seem to see him until she was a foot away, so she suddenly slammed on the brakes. I had left enough distance to avoid hitting her, but the person behind me (on the phone) had to lock up her brakes. I could hear the squealing and I braced for impact, but aside from the regular "Oh crap, I'm going to get hit" feeling, I also had the "MY BABY! DON'T HURT MY BABY!" feeling. I felt so totally helpless to protect her. It was a stomach-churning, heart-wrenching sensation. I actually broke into a sweat. Thankfully, the car behind me stopped in time, but I spent the rest of the ride home trying to stop my hands from shaking.

I suppose this will happen more often as we get out more and more. We sort of fell into a playgroup of other first-time moms and babies under 2 years old, so we've been hanging out with them once a week. I didn't think "playdates" (I've always hated that word, for some reason) would start so early. At this point, though, it's more for the moms than the babies. We're all professional women either on maternity leave or taking a break (planned or not) from work. It's reassuring to talk to other people in a similar situation, going through similar challenges. Everyone has their own hot issue - although come to think of it, most are either related to sleep or nursing or both. We get together at someone's house for lunch, so it's a double-bonus of social time plus a catered meal. It's really been a blessing as my time away from a structured work environment wears on.

In more baby-related news, we seem to have hit the separation anxiety stage. We're trying not to blame ourselves, considering we left her with sitters two nights in a row (one of those was an accident - I thought I'd bought concert tickets for the night we already had a sitter booked, but they were actually for the day before). Ever since then, she won't go to anyone but me or The Husband, even if we're standing a foot away. This resulted in a very unpleasant afternoon with our regular sitter. She just wailed and wailed until she fell asleep. At the time I thought it was teething, so I didn't think I could do any better than our trusty caregiver, but she's been the same way with any non-parent ever since. I thought it was a little early for this stage, but I've heard similar reports from other parents with babies the exact same age.

Speaking of stages, she's quickly approaching the Fully Mobile one. She can scoot in every direction but straight ahead, and with the way she's been getting up on her knees and then into a down-dog yoga position, I can't imagine that actual crawling is very far away. Still not sitting up yet, though. She's not still long enough.

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